What’s good, good people. This is your girl Anna DeShawn, founder/ceo of E3 Radio where we play queer & independent music in high rotation. You are now tuned in to Episode 8 of Anna’s Got A Word. A podcast where I share my word as a Black Queer woman in America. In this episode I want to talk about Robyn & Whitney. I say their names like I know them. Come on let’s get into it.

This past week has been a whirlwind for the notoriously private Robyn Crawford. She’s been doing the media rounds promoting her new book A Song For You: My Life with Whitney. We’ve heard more from her in the last 7 days than we have in the last 3 decades. Her story has been one of mystery & there has always been rumors, whispers, side-eyes about her relationship with Whitney Houston.

Now these types of whispers are not new in Hollywood. Oprah & Gail, Queen Latifah & whomever but Roybn & Whitney has been one for the ages. Not only because Whitney was Whitney but because Robyn was Robyn. They never legitimized the rumors and never stopped being who they were to each other. It wasn’t done to spite the media or their families but because what they had was theirs and theirs alone. Robyn says, “Whitney knows I loved her and I know she loved me,” … “We really meant everything to each other. We vowed to stand by each other.”

And that’s exactly what Robyn did. She never said a word while others talked about her sexuality all up and through the media. First up, Cissy Houston. She proclaimed her homophobia to Oprah on live TV. Cissy told Oprah in that 2013 interview promoting her book that she “absolutely” would have been bothered if her daughter was gay. She went on to say that she would not have condoned it or liked it at all.

In Cissy’s book, Remembering Whitney, she wrote about the pair, saying, “I knew I didn’t want Robyn around my daughter, and I told [Whitney] that, There wasn’t much I could do though. [Whitney] liked Robyn. She was past the age when I could forbid her from seeing someone. Kids have a mind of their own when they get older. They want to experiment with all kinds of things. And I don’t know if it was more than that.”

Robyn talks about a conversation where Whitney told her that Cissy said it wasn’t natural for two women to be that close,” …. “but we were that close.”

Now how many people do you know stay in the closet because their parents don’t approve. Because their church doesn’t approve. Because their career won’t accept who they are. Now these are real facts. Just last month the Supreme Court heard 3 cases of LGBTQ employment discrimination. They will be ruling next year if the word “sex” in the civil rights act covers gender identity and sexual orientation. There are still 28 states where you can be fired begin LGBTQ and have no legal recourse. That’s more than half. In 2018, HRC (Human Rights Campaign) did a study & it showed that 46% of LGBTQ folks remain in the closet at work. They don’t feel safe to be out at work. They don’t feel their work environments have created a culture where it’s possible. They don’t want to make their co-workers uncomfortable because we are still “othered”. Now imagine how many people were in the closet at work in 1980. sit with that.

Second on the list is none other than Bobby Brown. He has spoken about Robyn as well. In 2016, Brown confirmed that Houston and Crawford had a romantic relationship. And, despite any apparent rift between them, he said about Whitney’s sprial into drug addition, “I really feel that if Robyn was accepted into Whitney’s life, Whitney would still be alive today,” Brown told Us Weekly. “She didn’t have close friends with her anymore.” Wow. The words “accepted” & “friend” really stand out to me in how he referenced Robyn. Also, the gravity and power that he gives to their friendship and what they had. I’d imagine that made a whole lot of folks uncomfortable.

Every documentary & movie about Whitney’s life has depicted her in it. And most of it hasn’t been positive. They’ve only shown tension between Robyn & Bobby but rarely the genuine closeness and friendship between her & Whitney.

So for Robyn to come out now & speak up for herself is a huge deal. Rumors & speculation never equate as fact until the person living it tells you for themselves. It’s just how it is. People can think you’re gay all day but if you don’t say it for yourself it’s not real. That’s just facts.

What tickles me are all the comments I’m reading across social. “Why is she speaking now!” #fakenews #oldnews “If Whitney wanted it to be a secret why are you speaking now if you loved her” oh & my favorite “It’s all about the money”

Come on y’all. For real?! Robyn’s loyalty to Whitney is unmatched. She’s gone decades without telling her side of the story. Why is she the one that has to remain silent? Oh because that’s whats good gay folks should do. Stay quiet. Stay in the closet. No one says that explicitly anymore but thats what homophobia looks like today. Do it but not in front of me. Not in my house. etc etc.

What would you do if you were in her shoes? Would you really allow your life to pass you by and never tell your truth. Never correct every lie ever told. Never clear your name. And if it was really about money don’t you think she could have released this a long time ago. She would have made a LOT more money. Instead she’s waited. And at this point, I feel like Whitney would want her to share her side too.

They had young love. Robyn was 19 & Whitney was 17. Do you remember what that was like? You would do just stupid stuff in the name of love. You would spend an abnormal amount of time with each other. They were no different. They knew each other inside & out. What has struck me most is watching Robyn in the interviews and how she speaks about what they had. She uses words like beautiful & intimate. Natural & loving.

We know now that the physical part of their relationship ended before Whitney signed her deal with Arista. In that moment Whitney gave her a blue bible & “She said I don’t believe we should be physical anymore,” … “The music business was a world that we were learning and we didn’t want anything to interfere with where she was going… I just felt that I wouldn’t be losing much. I still loved her the same and she loved me and that was good enough.”

Robyn goes on,

“She said if people find out about us, they would use this against us,” and back in the ’80s that’s how it felt.” so, Robyn says, “I kept it safe. I found comfort in my silence.”

This was the 80s. A completely different time for LGBTQ folks. Watch the 1st season of Pose and you’ll remember how difficult it was during that time. Being out was definitely not accepted especially in Hollywood. The AIDS crisis was killing people in crazy high alarming rates & it was extremely scary. Folks were not interested in being open or out. They just weren’t.

Robyn goes on to say,

“We never talked about labels, like lesbian or gay,” … “We just lived our lives and I hoped it could go on that way forever.”

Whew. That’s a lot. While listening to Robyn you really wish there could have been a place where forever was possible. She talks about when Whitney was getting ready for a date with Eddie Murphy & how she wished she was preparing to go out with her. How many times do you think that feeling crept in over the years? Won’t love have you all wrapped up. It will have you in situations you never thought were possible for yourself. And through it all Robyn was there until she couldn’t take anymore. Even after she left Whitney’s camp they still worked on projects together.

All in all I’m here for Robyn telling her story. She says, “I wanted to lift her legacy, give her respect and share the story of who she was before the fame, and in that, to embrace our friendship.” From what I’ve seen she’s doing exactly that. She’s speaking her truth & giving us a different glimpse into Whitney and their love story.

Today, Robyn is married to her wife Lisa and they have two children together. Up until this point they’ve lived a very private life.

Family, I’ve gotten my copy & you should too. Take a moment & get a glimpse into forbidden love. Until next time family, peace.